In front of the green door

I call it the "Green Door" issue.

You want to enter the Green Door because what is behind it would improve your life.

But how would your entrance improve the lives of the people already there?

If the answer is "It wouldn't", then why should they let you in?

You can go through life being bitter at people who exclude you because you add nothing to their lives. Many do spend their limited years on this earth in just that way.

Or...you can find the people whose lives you do add something to and appreciate the relationships you build with them.

(On a related note: This article is even harsher than the title promises, but if you need it as much as I did a dozen years ago, then the scouring is worth the pain. Aimed at men, it will attack your psychological defenses without mercy. It did me a lot of good. Eventually.)